Thursday, April 19, 2012

civilian horse.

I have an idea for a movie. I already know everyone will hate it, except for me. And maybe three other people.

I need to explain a few things before I describe it though. First of all, whether because I love horses or maybe just animals in general, whenever I'd see a war movie that involved horses getting shot and killed, even though it always happened as the background of the main plot that was going on, I always wondered about the horses and felt bad about them dying. I wondered who owned them (in the context of the story, of course- not who owned them in real life) or where all of the soldiers were getting this endless supply of horses that just ended up slaughtered as a result of war. I wanted to know their background stories.

Then War Horse happened (I realize it's an adaptation of a novel, which was also a play- but I'm just focusing on the film), and for once a war film focused on what was generally just used as a prop in other films. We followed one horse, and his journey through WWI. We got to see the back story of a character who's usually pretty insignificant in the plot of other war films. Cool.

Enter: Any Vin Diesel movie. The most recent one I watched was Fast Five. This could really apply to any movie that involves extreme levels of violence or intense car chase scenes, but for the sake of having an example, I choose Vin. So, in watching Fast Five, as good old Vin is dragging an enormous safe through the streets of Brazil or wherever he was, slamming it through buildings, running red lights, causing chaos that is bound to end in innocent people being injured or even killed as a result of his Robin-Hood-except-he-keeps-the-money-for-himself antics, my idea for a movie was born.

Here it is: It's like any other movie. About some guy or some girl who has a crazy job, possibly a love interest, maybe two love interests, could be a comedy, could be a drama, whatever. And then I want it to end with the main character maybe just being on a street corner talking to their love interest, or maybe at the bank trying to keep their house from getting foreclosed on. They could even be just driving down the road on their way to drop the kids off at the babysitter before they go out and party with their girlfriends. And I want the movie to end with a huge safe just tearing down the street, crashing through the bank, or sliding up onto the sidewalk- ending their life. Thus, ending the movie.

It will be a movie dedicated to all of those characters at the bank or just driving down the streets of Brazil that no one really thought of. It will be the War Horse of car chase movies and bank robbery plots. It will be a horrible movie in the sense that we'll never know if that person was able to save their house, if they had a good time at the club, or which love interest would've won out in the end. And maybe, the next time people watch a Vin Diesel movie, they'll think about the implications of that ridiculous car chase. Maybe they'll think of the innocent bystanders whose lives are cut short by unnecessary action. Maybe they'll remember the civilian horses.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

milestone.

Matt and I had a significant moment in our relationship today. We talked to each other on the phone longer than we ever have before. Are you ready to hear how long it lasted? Drum roll (or lots of dots), please.
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Eight minutes and nine seconds.
I love him :)

Monday, January 10, 2011

i love learning. not school.

As I trudged around campus for hours buying books, returning books, being sent back and forth from building to building by the same people, trying to meet with advisors, taking unnecessary language placement tests and listening to professors explain the courses I'm taking, I decided that college education feels an awful lot like spending only 15 minutes in every major city in Europe. I haven't spent 15 minutes in every major city in Europe, but I would imagine it would be overwhelming, unnecessarily difficult, blurred together, and extremely expensive.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

chaos at the pump- and two jokes I made up. rhyme.

I'm borrowing my friend Josh's car for the week. You need to know that.

I took my lunch break today and thought I'd get some gas before I picked up some Arbys. I do love my roast beef. So I'm at the gas pump, and everything's fine... I only put $15 in because I'm poor, and as I was finishing up, someone's car alarm started going off. It was the worst and loudest noise I had ever heard. Just imagine every horrible noise, roll those into one and you have it. So I looked around and zeroed in on what I thought to be the source of the car alarm; the girl in front of me. She looked back at me and I just stared at her, wondering why she wasn't doing anything about it. This all went on for about 30+ seconds until I realized that it was MY car alarm that was going off. Well, I've never owned a car that even knew what an alarm was, so I was thrown into a panic. I must say I kept my calm though. I walked over to the drivers seat and just turned the car on. And it stopped. Quick thinking I say. But then I thought I had lost the cap to the gas tank in my time of worry. I searched and searched for it, and finally found it twisted back where it was supposed to be. Goodness.

1. What did the dad say when his kids complained about him making them go to the non-nudist beach?

- There are no butts about it.

2. What did the spaghetti say to the lone macaroni noodle in the bowl with it?

-Impasta!

Copyright: me 2008

Monday, September 29, 2008

cavities make me think

Do ventriloquists have normal, intelligible conversations with dentists while they're getting their teeth worked on? I've always hated when dentists or their assistants ask me questions that require much more than just a yes or no answer. Like "So where you working these days?" or "When did you cut your hair?" or "Can you name all of the states in alphabetical order for me?" Okay, that last one was made up, but you get the idea. I'm sure you've experienced it yourself. I just wonder if ventriloquists have an easier time with it than us "normal" people, since they can talk without moving their mouths. If anyone knows one, find out and get back to me. Thanks.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

well, folks.

There's a good chance I'm driving the most unsafe, detrimental, and environmentally harmful vehicle that has ever been driven.

Go James.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

not just a coincidence.

Today, as I was pretending to be working for about the 9th hour in a row (literally, that isn't an exaggeration), I discovered something. Usually I listen to videos/songs/interviews on Youtube, and then when I get bored with that I'll move onto looking everything and anything up on Wikipedia. Occassionally I'll combine those two activites into one project, and today was one of those occassions.

I was listening to part 7/10 of MST3K's (Mystery Science Theatre 3000) Monster A Go-Go, and I decided that I wanted to find out more about my favorite tv show. So, off I pranced (well, typed- but it was really excited typing) to Wikipedia. I started to read about it, and was enjoying little random facts that I hadn't known previously, when all of the sudden..... I made the discovery. Are you ready?

MST3K made it's first television appearance on Thanksgiving Day- November 24, 1988.

November 24, 1988 was my first birthday.

Coincidence? Absolutely not. It was planned, I know it. MST3K and I shared a first. We are connected. Our lives are intertwined. I think I've known it all along, deep down. But it was just nice to see it written out like that.

I realize this entry might be confusing to those of you who've never heard of MST3K.... if that's the case, I suggest you look it up and un-confuse yourselves. You'll thank me.

Also, in celebration of this wonderful day of discovery and our shared birthday, feel free to present me with MST3K volumes/episodes in the form of DVDs before, during, or after November 24th. I already own "This Island Earth". Thank you.

PS- I thought I was going to have to take my dad to the hospital just barely. He sold his plasma today, and he took off the bandage they put on, and blood started seeping everywhere. Literally. He would take off the toilet paper he had on top of the place where they inserted the needle, and his arm would be covered with blood in seconds. I was typing this very entry when he asked if I could get him a bandaid, and after I looked up and saw what was happening I ran to the closet and frantically threw all of our medical supplies around trying to find some gauze and some of that stick-to-itself medical bandaging. Then all the sudden, he said "I'm fine, I'm fine" so I looked over and the bleeding had stopped. Completely. WOW that was terrifying. Sorry this blog ended up being a lot longer than planned. Blame my dad. And the plasma center.